your boy aaron is tired, i am so beat i cant handle

THE DAY BEFORE MY SON IS BORN

hey there digital world,

i went skating today for the first time in a long time and it was awesome. i had a blast, me and my boy PINK went and we fucked up PEDLOW skate park. i am surprised at how good i skated after 2 years off of a board. it was awesome i did some tricks i didn't think i would be able to do my first day back. i am not that bad. my boy is way better but i didn't care about who was better it was just about being fun and having fun. it is also going to be a good way for me to keep in shape. i burned about 5 pounds water weight. it was awesome i love it. i cant believe i stopped. i am going to make sure i keep skating. ok people i am gone. have a good one. peace

4/18/2010

bored to death, i am seriously going to loose it. i mean seriously. i only have today and then maybe 1 or 2 days after today before all i am doing is caring for my son and i wanted to try and have a little fun or hang out with my friends. But unfortunately i don't get that. i get the do what i am told as well as sit around bored and alone and wish i were able to have fun these last couple days. i mean my wife doesn't have to go back to work till July i have to wake up and go to work Monday morning which does happen to be tomorrow. she doesn't understand that she gets to stay home and relax until the baby comes i have to work and work hard all week and then next week as well. fuck i just want like a tiny bit of time to do something I want to do. i mean seriously from building all the baby stuff and doing all the baby shopping and cooking and cleaning and everything else i would like i am entitled to a little bit of release. true that is my wife reads this she will say you had billy come hang out last night but still i mean seriously that was like me begging people on Facebook to hang out because i am not allowed to go out or anything so i was trying to at least have friends over and the only one who came was Billy.FUCK I JUST WANT TO HAVE A RELAXING FUN FILLED WEEKEND WITH MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY OR SOMETHING THAT IS SOMETHING I WANT TO DO. SOMETHING THAT IS GOING TO MAKE ME NOT REALIZE I AM THE ONE WHO IS GOING TO BE WORKING 11 HOURS A DAY EVERYDAY TO ENSURE MY FAMILY EATS. whatever i am done complaining. i am going to go now. have a good day people.

4/17/10

today is a saturday and i am so ready to do something today and make something out of it. so what should i do today? give me some ideas.

C section

so, totally my wife was talking on the phone with her friend asking about vagina stuff and like all this prego stuff. well i just thought i would post that i will come back later. peace

PEOPLE ARE YOU THERE

Hey there my people, well i don't actually think that anybody is even reading this but if there are then hello. i do this mostly to vent and to keep record of my life so if i ever want to remember something or when my kid is older he can read it and see what i was doing before he was born and after he was born. well they did some inspection of my apartment today so i had to bring the pups to my moms house they could do their thing. they are just about done but i have to go to the store to do some purchasing for the incentive store. that's a portion of my job i get to go on shopping spree's for the call center and buy a bunch of stuff that i want but i buy it for my reps to win during incentives. it is pretty cool. i am planning on making it to work but i need to do the shopping because we have reps who want to use their Hollywood bucks in the store and there isn't much left. i have a conference call in about 15 minutes so i am going to go now. i will talk more later that is if anybody is even listening.

Why?

Why? That is the question for today. Why am I always depressed. I mean I wish I wasn't but I am. Like seriously I'm always depressed. Maybe it's from what I feel is the lack of attention or the no affection. Whatever I guess I'm just whinning like a baby. And I am so sorry that I complain so much but seriously your supposed to talk or should I say communicate. But whatever I'm done talking about it. Peace

happy easter

good morning world, well it is easter i mean i dont celebrate it but my wife does so i am stuck doing that all day. but whatever it was cool because i got to have jonathan my godson over and he spent the night. which is totally ok because nothing happens in the bedroom anyways. ok well i am going to go and i will talk to you all later.

4/2/10

hey there people, or should i say person. well actually i know that a couple people read this but they aren't following. i have 1 follower which i think is awesome. so thank you follower. well moving right along i am mad at my keyboard. hahahah just kidding i am not mad just a little upset. i sat and typed for over a hour today actually almost 2 hours to prepare something for management and it was last minute notice that they needed it but i did it anyways and then i find out when i am already home that they think 1 tiny part is wrong. well i mean seriously if it is then fix it i didn't have anytime to prepare and if i typo-ed in one place then whatever i do not need a email about it. well anyways moving right along, apparently i am not giving my wife enough credit so here it goes. i love my wife she is amazing and the most wonderful thing i could ever imagine to have. and if she doesn't want the same name for our son then i guess i should let her have what she wants because lets be honest she is the one carrying the baby i am just the husband. so anyways there is her credit. getting into this not giving credit thing the person who read this and got upset with me about the things i was saying about the name knows how good i am to this person. i mean seriously i treat her better then anybody ever. but i dont get credit for that i get to her about the bad things i do. whatever. i am just so over never being recognized for the good and only the bad. i fucking break my fucking back to make it so we have what we have. i mean seriously i work 12 hour days for weeks at a time, i cook i clean i do so fucking much it is retarded. but i get (--) much for it when i should be getting (------------------) much for it but whatever that is life.

moving right along work was busy as hell today and these incentives we are going to launch are great it makes me want to be on the phones again in a way. shit i would win every one of them. but nope i have to be the one who takes care of all of the drama the number running the ins and outs of it and then i get to say "yay you won". i seriously think they need to have something for me. i mean i know i get paid more then the reps do hourly but i was making way more money before i was in this position because of the commission but whatever you have to take cut sometime or other to eventually get the big dollars. which i am hoping will be within the next 5 years.i know what you are saying....5 years that is a long time, well it is but i am not going to lie to you or myself and say it is going to happen anytime sooner but if it does then awesome.

well i think that i have typed well enough for now i am done. just wanted to vent a little and get some stuff off my chest. peace see you all later.

hey hey people, computer is fixed and i am stoaked on that. my wife asked me the other day if i was mad at the keyboard and told her that i just type fast, then coincidentally i was watching "Up in the Air" and the same line was used in that movie. i thought it was pretty funny. some might just think it is dumb but not me. its the simple things that make me happy. so just ate some mac and cheese, and um yea it was delicious. i dont know what it is about my wifes mac and cheese or her top ramen because i make it the same way yet it never tastes the same. i think she does something special to it but i am not sure but i think she does. well anyways i am going to drink my Mimosa and then i am going to lay down and watch some DVR'D shows and then catch some shut eye. long day on my feet from the time i woke up till then time i go to bed, the life and times of Aaron S. ok peace out and i will see or should i say talk to you all tomorrow.

here is a pic the comp is having issues i will post more later.

good morning, well i have a follower it seems and that is awesome. they did ask me to post pics of the belly so i did. i just woke up and i a feel like today is going to be a good day. i need to get dressed for work but i will talk more soon. peace

Traffic traffic tryin to find my chapstick

Well another fullfilling day at work goes by and another 2 hours drivetime and that's 13 hours of my day. Damn I'm left with not much oh and FYI I'm driving while typing this blog. I know not the smartest thing but hey gotta do it sometimes. Well I am gonna go. I will type more later.

IGOOGLE

i am not sure everybody already knew about this but i didnt. well now i do and i am impressed it makes this all that much easier for me.

stressed out and about to pop

Good afternoon world. well last night was crazy i did already post a little something about it but i will post some more now letting you know what fully went down. Jaime went into pre term labor which basically means that she went into labor early but it wasn't full labor they were able to stop the contractions and she is ok for the time being. she is going to have to take this medicine for 8 days and then more then likely have the baby, so i am going to be a dad soon. i am way exited and last night at one point they almost made it seem like we were going to have the baby that night which would have been awesome. i drove home packed the bag up and went straight to the hospital and stayed there with Jaime over night. i didn't sleep well so i am basically a zombie right now and i am supposed to go to dinner tonight at my dads house but i am not really feeling up to it. i wish i didn't have to worry about all this craziness and the baby would just be here and money would be fine and everything was perfect but hey that's life. OK i am going cut this one short have a good one and i will be back later or tomorrow.

Fml

So we are at the hospital and Jaime is pre term labor. Which basically means we wasted 100 bucks on nothing. But whatever. Just as long as the baby is safe. Well I am stuck here for a bit and then we are going home she is not going into labr today she is going to go when she is supposed to, or should I say I hope so. Well I am going to go now. Peace to world now. Write more later.

good morning people out there in cyber land. just woke up and i am beat from yesterday i think i should maybe go back to sleep but i don't think i could fall back asleep. well yesterday was great lets see what happens today

soooo, i watched the movie "EverReady's Fine" with Robert Deniro and many other and it was sad. it was a fantastic movie and i was very happy with it. i love movies if you didn't already know. we were going to watch "The Blindside" but we decided to watch the Deniro flick. very happy with it wife cried and all. well i am going to go lay back down. please comment if you like so i know somebody out there is listening to my rambling.

3/27/2010

well people i am back, today was a good day, productive and fun. my wife and i did some shopping and some cooking on the grill. it was good and i am happy with it so that's that. we visited my mother and father and spent some time over there. yes if you were wondering they are still as crazy as they were. i don't think they will ever change but i love them this way so i don't think it really matters. i am tired even though we didn't do much. i mean we went to the grocery store and sears and then we went to walmat so we did so a fair amount. so we are going to watch "The Blindside" tonight i hope it is as good as i was hoping it was going to be. oh and thank god for torrents i don't think my DVD collection would be near as cool as it is without them, not to mention how cool LIGHT SCRIBE is. it makes the label for you who needs a actual CD case when you can have a book full of DVDs that have covers. i don't, shoot my collection is well over 300 not to mention my 20 blu-rays, and thank the wife for that one. oh and remember i was talking about getting a IPHONE app for this site well what i did instead was went online on the phone and i just make my own icon with a link straight to the page. cool i know i am the shit. well anyways i going to go so i can watch the movie with the wifey i will let you all know how it is after. oh and FYI BABIES N BELLIES photography rules, we have the coolest pictures in the world coming it is going to be amazing. well i am outtie i will post some more later. peace.

good morning,
so today is going to be a good day, we are going to take the dogs to the park and we are going to be lazy and just relax all day. we haven't gotten a chance to do that in a long time so today is the day. Jaime is reading my blog right now from the other computer so i thought "hey why not write something" so here you go. i am so anxious about waiting for this baby, i want him to come today. i want to effing meet him. well i am going to eat breakfast now i will write more later.

March 26th 2010

Good evening everybody,

Today was a busy day, a good day but it was a busy day. Work is treating me well and I am happy about that considering that most people aren’t usually happy with their jobs. Moving right along Jaime is like about to pop. I mean I am counting the days minutes and seconds for my baby to come. I can’t wait to meet him. I was so happy when I found out she was pregnant and now I am like on edge wanting to meet my son. I am going to name him Aaron Sforza, I want his middle name to be my middle name and Jaime wants it to be Michael, I don’t ever get my way so I am trying to just not have a middle name for him but I think I am going to lose this battle. What’s messed up is I told her since I already had a name picked if It was a boy she could pick the name if it was a girl. I didn’t fight back I gave my opinion but I told her she could pick the name. now almost 9 months later she is making comments that I cant have what I wanted since I was a kid. I mean I understand that she doesn’t like my middle name (Juda) but I do, and since I was willing to let her name our daughter if we had one whatever she wanted then I think it is only fair I get to name my son what I have wanted to name my first born son since I was a kid thinking about having a kid. Well that is life I guess. So I got some letters today from some of my incarcerated friends and it makes me think that I am so happy I left that lifestyle and I am a corporate man now. Well I am going to go now I am going to try and continue this blog as long as I can, I wish there was a iphone application for this blog site so I could just use my phone but there isn’t. there might be in the future and I will get it when that day comes.

3/24/10

today was a day that just pushed me over the edge. i hate when my integrity is challenged at work. i am a damn good employee and i work hard for it. i don't play games or mess around i get it done. but whatever i need to grow thicker skin i guess. so anyways, Jaime and i did babies in bellies this last weekend and we got the link to the pics today. they are awesome, expensive but awesome. so i hope i can get some money together to get most of them. did i mention i got my car back and i was broken down again on the 101 yesterday but i am such a mechanical genius i figured it out and got it running and to work. it was awesome, minus the part about being stuck broken down. so yet again i come home and try and make my wife realize i am here and cook an amazing dinner that i know is her favorite but she just goes right to sleep right after. i kind of feel like we are just friends having a child and not lovers that are married having a kid. i wish she was there like she used to be. i am still here. i know what your thinking and i am not just seeing it from my side. it is the truth. well anyways moving right along i do have a big day tomorrow and it is already late, i was going write more but i do have to try and get some rest eventually because i don't sleep well as it is. oh i probably didn't mention that, i don't sleep well. i had some traumatic events happen to where i do not sleep well. its been almost 4 years since i actually slept well. but hey that is how life goes. well anyways i am going to try and sleep and if i cant i will come back and tell you some more about me. good night.

Tuesday 3/23

so people, well if there is anybody out there. i am working and going to start tracking my life day by day so maybe one day it will be followed by somebody.

From the life of Aaron Sforza
This is my life: Day 1; 3/22/2010 1:28 A.M.
So where do I start….I am about to have a baby and I am kind of scared yet kind of prepared for him. I want to name him Aaron Juda Sforza but Jaime (my wife) won’t let me have his middle name as Juda so we are probably going to go with Michael which I don’t like nor do I want, I don’t know why I mention it but I do. I kind of don’t have any say is what goes on I just sit down hold on and shut up or I have to worry that she will leave me. I can’t have that she is my life. I mean I can’t live without her. There are some things that upset me like how she tells me she will be there no matter what yet the second something happens she tries to leave. I mean what kind of love is that. I catch her lying to me all the time and I let it slide. I do it because I love her unconditionally. Which if you didn’t already know means under any condition. I am not sure the feeling is mutual but that is why I am writing this so I can vent it out because she will just yell at me. I mean loving somebody unconditionally means under any condition not just when it is convenient for you I mean I gave it all up for her. However I feel unappreciated always and I don’t feel like she appreciates what I did and do for her. I mean I am seriously doing everything every day for her. I swear to me she is the one and I won’t ever give up on trying to make her happy even though I probably never will. I try and yea I mess up but so does she yet she doesn’t have to be held accountable for anything because she is the boss and I am the worker. Whatever I don’t want to speak on it more but I would like to say if something happens to me or I do something to myself I want everything to go to my son and my wife. They deserve it. Now I am not saying something is going to happen but you never know. I know I am rambling on but I needed to get some of this out of me so I could be a little more at ease. Well I am already in trouble for being out here so I am going to go back into the room and try and sleep away my sorrows but I bet I wake up the same way tomorrow. This is Aaron and it is now 1:35 A.M and I am signing out. Have a good night. Let’s hope I have a better day tomorrow even thought I don’t think I will and I think it will be the same and nothing will change. You know one last thing. I wanted a kid so bad and I thought it would bring so much joy but so far I haven’t experienced any joy except some kicking besides that I don’t get laid anything and I don’t get any quality time with my wife and I am just background noise that just gets to hear and what she is experiencing and what she is going through not realizing I am about to kill myself I am so depressed. She asks what’s wrong instead of saying I know something is wrong talk to me like I do with her.